The Grocery Leadership Deal 

I review novels, mostly; a mix of old ones and new ones. 

Grocery Leadership super-powers include but are not limited to:

1) Enables you to tell within 2 seconds whether or not I think you should invest in the book

2) Features reviews that are quantified and placed into context in a way that most reviews aren't and that will make you feel like you've just smoked some great reefer and are driving a motorcycle on the Pacific Coast Highway with the wind blowing through your hair

3) Includes Good Reads numerical ratings so you can see what other people think (even though anyone who disagrees with me is objectively wrong)

4) Warehouses all of my ratings and rankings on one page so you can tell at a glance if my opinions are bat-shit crazy

5) Comprehensively avoids detailed plot synopses, because they suck and are infuriating

6) Actually tells you if a book sucked

7) On very rare if ever circumstances wherein reviewing a book by someone I have any social connection to, states that clearly so you can tell if I'm kissing ass; will literally state "I get drunk with this person sometimes"; generally eschews reviewing novels written by people I know because holy shit that can get awkward

8) Attempts to champion new writers, especially women and people of color